A Baby Story

It's Thursday, August 23, and we're finally home from the hospital. Why did we just get back? Well, that's a long story and I only want to tell it once. You're in for a good, long read.

It started Sunday morning, Aug 12, 2007. That's when my water broke and our lives changed forever.

LABOR DAY (and night)
My water broke while I lay in bed at 6:45ish A.M. We calmly called our moms, packed some snacks into a cooler, took showers, called the hospital, and got on our way. I was admitted at 8:30 and settled into our room by 9. Unfortunately, my regular doctor was not on duty and my baby would be delivered by the Dr. on call. I was a little disappointed, but there was nothing I could do about it. At this time I had no contractions, and was dilated about 1 cm. I had a long way to go.

I had an IV inserted and a Pitocin drip started by 10. Contractions started at 12 and by 7 PM, my contractions were a minute long with a minute to rest in between. I was only 3 cm Dilated. Still, I had a long way to go. It was like no pain I'd ever felt before, but Peter was helping me through it. I was never against having an epidural but I wanted to wait as long possible before requesting it. Since I was only 3 cm apart, I knew I needed something to help me through the night because I was already exhausted and wanted to have enough energy for pushing. I asked the nurse about the possibility of an epidural and she said, "Well, I'd like to see you in more discomfort.

" WHATEVER!!! Instead she gave me Stadol to "take the edge off." All it did was numb the pain in between contractions...the contractions themselves weren't diminished. When the nurse was beyond earshot, Sarah whispered, "Don't keep all the pain inside! Let it out...let her know it hurts, even if you have to fake it." From that moment on, I moaned, I groaned, I let her know that it hurt. by 11 PM the anesthesiologist was on his way.

The anesthesiologist, Dr. Sun, came, he had me sit at the edge of the bed, lean over and hug a pillow tightly. He instructed me not to move, especially through contractions. Easy for him to say! It seemed like an eternity as I went through about 7 waves of contractions during the process, the nurse and Peter helped me through them. Sarah later told me that the Dr. was having a hard time and had to stick me about 5 times before getting it right. By the 3rd attempt, she couldn't even watch. 10 minutes later....Aaaah, sweet relief! By this time I was 5 cm dilated. I was able to sleep, and by early Monday morning, I began to feel incredible pressure and some pain in my pelvis and rectum, apparently the epidural didn't cover that part...the baby was on its way! By 4:30, my nurse, Maki, told me it was time to push! How long would it take? "Oh between 1 and 4 hours for first time mommies," she said. Not much longer to go!

FIRST, A NIGHTMARE. THEN OUR DREAMS COME TRUE
I pushed and I grunted and I moaned and I didn't care who was in the delivery room with me. All sense of dignity and decorum was gone as I spread my knees wide and tried to push that baby out. My Mom, Mother-in-Law, and brother were there, watching from a distance. Peter and my sister Sarah each had one of my legs, encouraging me push harder. "I can see the hair! Lots of hair!!!"

After an hour and 15 minutes of pushing it was time. The Dr. got into position, and I gave a final push. It was the most excrutiating pain I'd ever felt in my life, I knew I must have ripped. Her head was out! Along with the pain came relief, knowing that the hardest part was over. I was just about to push one last time to get the rest of her out when all of the sudden, the doctor said, "This isn't gonna work" and I felt another jolt of incredible pain. "Your baby's shoulder is stuck and we have to take it out of your tummy. I had to push it back in." What?! Push it back in? Is that even possible?! I kept asking, "What's happening? What's happening? What's happening?"

What happened next was a nightmare. All of a sudden an army of nurses and doctors marched in and began unhooking my monitors, IV's, and drips. "Prep the O.R.! Call the Anesthesiologist!" She ordered the nurses. She called for the other doctor that was on call to assist her. She tried to reassure me, "I had to push the baby back in, but baby's ok. Just listen..." She had hooked up the fetal monitor and I heard the familiar "huwah, huwah, huwah, huwah" of the baby's heartbeat. Still, I was panicked. I don't even remember seeing Peter, I turned towards Sarah who was trying to tell me everything was ok. The Dr. took Sarah by the shoulders and told her she needed to get out of the way. They wheeled me out of the room and rushed me over to surgery. I felt like I was in the middle of an episode of E.R.

Once in the O.R, I asked a nurse if Peter was coming. "No," she said, "Not this time, sweetie." I burst into tears. This is not what we envisioned. Peter wouldn't get to cut the cord, or see his baby being born. We would have no moment of anticipation when they declared "It's a BOY! or IT'S A GIRL!" No sweet family portrait as they lay baby on my tummy...I'd envisioned it so many times and this was not how it was supposed to happen. This was not part of our birth plan! They strapped my arms down and while waiting for the anesthesiologist, they began a mad prep for surgery and put the blue curtain up to shield them from my view.

"I have to push," I moaned.
"Don't Push!!!" they nurses held my legs close together, another helped me breathe through it, tears were streaming down my face. I ordered every fiber of my body not to push. I knew if I pushed, the baby might not survive. Finally, I realized that I was not in control. I began to pray. "It's all in your hands, Lord. Not mine. You know what I want, but it's what you want that matters." A calm came over me and I was able to breathe. A nurse stroked my forehead. "Just breathe...just breathe..."

Finally, Dr. Sun, the Anesthesiologist, ran into the room. Yes, the same Dr. Sun that took 5 attempts to insert my epidural. I wasn't feeling very confident at this point.

"How long to top off her epidural?" the dr.asked.
"10 minutes"
"We don't have enough time. What else you got?"

I remember everything. The tingling cold going down my spine as my spinal anesthesia kicked in, the numbness in my arms and legs, the nurses pinching my belly to check if the anesthesia was working, the contractions that kept coming. Dr. Sun, to his credit, had me ready for my incision in close to 5 minutes.

Dr. Sun told me the worst thing to do was to put me under so I was awake the whole time. I heard the Dr. calling for forceps, felt the pulling and tugging as they worked the baby back up from down below my pelvis, yanking it back up into position and finally, the first cackling cry of my miracle baby. "6:27!" I heard somebody yell out. I didn't even get a chance to see her, they whisked her away to check her vitals. I looked up to Dr. Sun who was standing behind me during the entire procedure and asked if it was a boy or a girl. He craned his neck to see beyond the flurry of nurses surrounding the baby.

"It's a girl! A big one! Lots of hair!"

The ordeal wasn't over yet though. Dr. Canavero called out to one of the nurses.
"Hand me that kit behind you."
"You mean the hemorrhage kit?"
"Yeah, but I was trying not to say that out loud for the patient to hear."

It didn't matter, at that moment a nurse brought a wailing, shrieking, baby girl bundle over to me and let her cheek rub against mine. She immediately stopped crying and her eyes opened wide. She was beautiful. "Hey there my beautiful baby girl. It's me, mommy." and I kissed her big, fat, soft cheeks. I wanted to stroke her thick, black hair but my arms were still strapped down. I kissed her and kissed her and kissed her with tears streaming down my face until they took her away to introduce her to her daddy.

RECOVERY
We read about Shoulder Dystocia, which is what happened during delivery, and it occurs when the baby's shoulder gets stuck behind the pelvic bone. We looked it up online and it was described as "An OB's worst nightmare." The danger is that the baby's airway is obstructed if it is not able to be pushed out so every second counts as the Dr. tries to maneuver the baby out or push it back in to remove via C-Section. Luckily Lauren did not suffer any of the many complications that can occur, like fractures to the baby's collar bone or humerus. Unluckily, mommy did suffer some complications like tearing and hemorrhaging.

The next few days were a blur. I had the best of both worlds. Stitches from 2nd degree lacerations from the vaginal birth, and my C-section incision. Plus I was still a little dazed from the trauma of past events and had anxiety attacks during the quiet moments when I was alone with my thoughts and memories of the delivery. Our families were there for us, and our dearest friends came to visit so that helped a lot.

Lauren was doing ok. I was having a bit of trouble breastfeeding and was worried she wasn't being fed enough. The lactation consultant (or the Nursing Nazi, as we came to call her) practically forbade me to supplement with formula or use a pacifier. Lauren was a screamer, a little louder than we expected, by Wednesday she was hoarse. She wouldn't let us put her down to sleep in her bassinette and so we had to carry her or hold her as she slept in short spurts. We were tired and sleep deprived. Peter began to worry that this was what the next 18 years was going to be like.

On Thursday we arrived home at 2 PM and by 5PM we noticed that Lauren had a fever. We called her pediatrician when her temperature spiked to 101.9 and he immediately told us to meet him at his office. He checked her out and by then her fever was down but he was worried. He thought it best for us to go back to the hospital.

There and Back Again...
So, on Thursday night, just 7 hours after being discharged, we were back at Sutter Roseville Medical Center, this time in the Pediatrics wing. There was a bed for me to sleep in and a chair for Peter. We had to share the room with a young couple whose baby had jaundice and slept under a UV light machine. Our room glowed blue all day and all night. Dr. Wang, the pediatrician stayed with us at the hospital until midnight and ordered every test possible on her. A little over zealous, I thought, but reassuringly thorough. In one night, our poor baby had heel sticks, blood drawn from her arms, a urine catheter inserted to collect a sample of urine, and IV drip installed, and a spinal tap. All to rule out any possible infection, active or latent. In the end it turned out to be a Urinary Tract Infection combined with dehydration that caused her fever(thanks, Nursing Nazi! That explained her fussiness and inability to sleep more than an hour at a time) . When the rest of the tests came out negative, we were cleared to go home on Tuesday, August 21.

Finally, after approximately 10 days and 9 nights total in the hospital, we came back home again and that is where I am now. It was an ordeal but I look at my baby girl and I know it's all worth it. We are in love. We love her hairy ears (which the Dr. assures us will fall off in a couple of weeks), her fat cheeks, her shock of black hair, the bird sounds that she makes when she's full, and the way she snorts and shakes her head from side to side when she's about to nurse. We look forward to finding more things about her to love.

PS. Thank you so much to all of our friends and family for their support during our pregnancy and especially after a difficult and scary labor and delivery. Thank you also to the our doctors and nurses who took such good care of us. For you nurses out there, I came to appreciate what you do. We relied on our nurses for so much, and they taught us most of what we needed to know to take care of a newborn and a new mommy too. Hug a nurse today!!!